I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
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As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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