saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize