fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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