We're facebook friends in real life
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
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