but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize