so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize