So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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