is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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