I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize