if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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