There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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