I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize