Duck Duck Cougar?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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