NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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