If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
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You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
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We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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