Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
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I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
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You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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