I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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