I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
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It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
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Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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