every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize