I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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