I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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