Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
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We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
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We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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