and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize