I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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