Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize