i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
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Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
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Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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