if i can run in heels then i can drive
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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