I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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