ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
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This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
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You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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