I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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