If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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