Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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