just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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