wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize