I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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