We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize