All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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