idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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