i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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