i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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