Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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