one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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