Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
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I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
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Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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