I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
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I want her autograph on my taint
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
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but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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