The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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