White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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