The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
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