I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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