did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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