I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i think i have two assholes
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize